Redefining Marriage: Influencers, Court Cases, and the Sindoor Debate
Marriage in India is evolving. For some, it remains steeped in tradition, with rituals like sindoor, mangalsutra, and bindi marking a woman’s marital status. For others, it’s an opportunity to define their own rules and assert autonomy. Recent social media debates, legal cases, and personal choices have highlighted this cultural tension.
Influencer Divija Bhasin Challenges Tradition
Content creator and therapist Divija Bhasin recently shared her perspective on marriage on Instagram. “This video is going to sound controversial, even though it is not,” she began, explaining that she does not wear sindoor or mangalsutra and continues to identify as Ms. Divija rather than taking her husband’s surname.
She emphasized personal choice: “I am still the same person after I got married. I wear what I want. I do what I want. I'm financially independent.” Divija and her husband also made lifestyle choices that suit them, including renting a separate home and hiring a cook, asserting that love for parents does not require cohabitation.
Divija concluded with a message about equality in marriage:
“Marriage does not have to be this horrible, negative experience where the woman has to change everything, while the man just gets to live with his family, have a career and do whatever he wants. Marriage can be equal. Our society is what makes it not equal. The society is not made up of other people. It includes me, and if I want to change the rules, I will.”
The internet response was divided. While some praised her fresh perspective and financial independence, others criticized her choices, claiming she was abandoning cultural norms. Comments ranged from “Controversial? Nah, this sounds peaceful” to “God does not give such a wife to my enemy.”
When Courts Uphold Patriarchy
Unfortunately, Divija’s experience reflects a wider societal pattern where patriarchal norms are reinforced, sometimes even by courts. A Pune court judge, mediating a domestic violence case, questioned a woman for not wearing a mangalsutra or bindi, suggesting her husband might lose interest in her.
Other cases have also highlighted this bias:
- In 2022, the Madras High Court granted a man a divorce because his wife refused to wear a mangalsutra, citing “mental cruelty of the highest order.”
- In Indore, a woman was asked by the family court to return to her husband’s home because she did not wear sindoor.
- The Gauhati High Court, in 2020, ruled a divorce partly because the woman refused to follow traditional marital symbols.
Sociologists point out that symbols like sindoor, mangalsutra, and bindi are markers of control. Shaoni Shabnam, assistant professor at St Xavier's College, Kolkata, explained:
“These rituals establish a woman’s identity as someone’s wife, implying she’s not available for other men, and that her husband has exclusive access to her sexuality and body. While culturally seen as symbols of beauty and purity, they reinforce patriarchal norms in Indian society.”
Marriage Means Different Things to Different People
The conversation sparked by Divija’s Instagram video and legal examples underscores a broader societal debate: can marriage evolve beyond rigid traditional expectations? For Divija, it’s about autonomy, equality, and personal choice. For the courts and some sections of society, tradition remains a non-negotiable benchmark of a “proper” marriage.
The discussion reveals the tension between personal freedom and societal expectations, emphasizing that marriage does not have to be uniform. Every couple has the right to define what works for them, challenging norms while respecting cultural roots.
As a lesbian trans woman and feminist, I wanna say Divija acts like a feminist, but she’s not fully one
— दीपांशी 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🇵🇰🇧🇩🇵🇸 (@Transwoman_Here) September 24, 2025
She’s right about mangalsutra, surname, and using Mrs being misogynist, but a true feminist also sees clothes, showers, and even doubting me as forms of misogyny https://t.co/UHlNzg3gaJ
Hai Please Do not Spam in Comments